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"Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time,

"Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me.

"Good, good now we're making some progress

"Come on, just tap, tap, tap your toes to the beat.

"And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction,

"Well, don't you see, I'm the narrator and this is just the prologue ..."

-- Panic! at the Disco, "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage"

Holy smokes, the janitors in this place leave something to be desired. Give me a minute ...

(damn cobwebs ... swish, swish, swish ... COUGH!!! ... wow, this keyboard has seen better days ... poiup;oilkhnasdfb=--=8907123-0809709812374123h;oaihsdfzsx;lkxzcbhbzxcpoilads ... a little compressed air ... PHFIIIISH, PHFIIIIIIIIIIIIISH ... PHISH ... there, that's better. I'd load my program to clean my monitor, but it would probably get me kicked off this site.)

Now, where was I? Oh yeah ...

So there I was Monday morning, standing on the front porch having my wake-up coffee and cancer stick, and I saw something that brought me much happiness.

My own breath!

It's always that first crisp pre-autumn morning that gets my blood pumping, because it can mean only one thing: FOOTBALL IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!! No, the start of daily doubles doesn't always bring this news, nor does the start of NFL mini-camps or the start of college practices. The only thing that can get my blood pumping in such a fashion is the simple chill of a morning.

Instantly I noticed the hardening of nipples, and it had nothing to do with the temperature. What can I say? The coming of the football season has different effects on different people.

"Tell me when I'm gonna live again, tell me when I'm gonna breathe you in. Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside, tell me when I'm gonna feel alive ... "

Those words come to you from the Christian rock band Skillet from their single "Rebirthing." And while maybe ALL of the lyrics might not fit my love of the game, as I was listening to it while prepping the first column of the year, I kept thinking about football. Especially the line, "Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen, I breathe you in ..."

(sidenote: bonus points to any of you who have heard the song or heard of the band. I had not heard of them until a couple of months ago and I'm hooked.)

Much like my father before me, I tend to go into a sports-viewing hibernation of sorts once the network signs off from the Super Bowl. I may catch an occasional golf tournament (mostly the majors) and some other various events, but not being a big fan of the NBA or major league baseball, it makes for a long, lonely offseason. I used to be a Baltimore Orioles fan, but anymore I pay attention to the standings hoping only they'll stay mathetically eligible for the postseason long enough to get me to football season. Come to think of it, after reading of the 30-3 arse-whooping they took at the hands of the Rangers last weekend, I remember saying to myself that it was time for football season.

But still, I insist the cold morning was the real cue.

Yours truly will not take the start of the 2007 season sitting down, either. Well, at least not figuratively. I'll be sitting in front of the tube to watch the Beavers kick off their season Thursday against Utah, then I'll be sitting in the press box high above Hillsboro Stadium Friday night to watch the OSAA Endowment game between warring Tribes from Scappoose and Molalla. Then Saturday, it'll be back to the tube to watch Oregon's season opener against Houston in a game which should feature a final score similar to some of the Ducks' basketball games last year.

Catching up

Now that we know football is on the way (had I mentioned that yet?) I thought I'd take some time to let my loyal fans -- yes, all three of you -- know what I've been up to since the end of last season.

As many of you know by now, I'm no longer in the newspaper business. I'd like to say I departed on my own terms, but that would be a lie. Without the gruesome details, it made for a long, cold winter during which I did not work at all. Then, in March, I got a phone call that changed my life in ways I never imagined.

I was called in for a temporary job helping set up a warehouse for a photocopier company based in northeast Portland. I reported to the job and busted you-know-what for 8 days helping them get set up to receive some 1,600 copiers from various warehouses all over the country. But once the work ran out, they had to let me go. To paraphrase former WWF wrestler "The Godfather," "Tempin' ain't easy!" I left them my number just in case they needed more help and, lo and behold, two weeks later while on another dead-end temp job, I get called in for another assignment with said copier company. This time, it was with the intent to hire, and my life hasn't been the same since.

After spending the first 16 years of my professional life hammering away at a keyboard, I am now rebuilding Konica photocopiers for the nation's largest convenience copying company. It's the best job I've ever had, with the best pay/benefits I've ever had, with the best co-workers I've ever had (apologies to the Argus Observer, because that was a fun bunch, too). Yes, we all work very hard, but it's the kind of company where the President will walk through the rebuild room and happily trade sarcastic remarks, bad jokes, cheap shots and the like, taking as good as he gives. It's the kind of company that when they hand-deliver the paychecks every two weeks, they shake your hand and thank you for the work you've done.

Which makes this easily the best gig I've ever had: the kings appreciate the peasants.

Hitting the road

Another big perk to the job is that my work schedule is four 10-hour shifts per week, which leaves my favorite night -- Fridays -- to cover games for Oregon Prep Sports. As part of the reason I'm no longer in newspapers, my coverage area is pretty well limited to what public transportation can provide (at least until December), but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm stuck watching the same teams over and over.

I had hoped to present something akin to a "Sportlight Game of the Week" for the first six weeks of the season with a schedule of games to be covered, then leaving the last four weeks of the regular season open for the biggest games of the year. That might not be as easy to pull off. But I am going to do the absolute best I can to see as many teams as possible at the 4A level as well as the occasional game from the 5A NWOC. Unfortunately I won't get to see any of the southern or central/eastern Oregon teams, but you can also bet my butt will be glued to the Internet on Saturdays reading up on all of the action around the state, as well as posting a weekly round-up of coverage from around the state (similar to what we were posting last fall).

I can tell you that for the first three weeks of the season, I'll be able to cover five different teams. As mentioned before, I'll be covering the Scappoose-Molalla game on Aug. 31, then I plan to be at PGE Park on Sept. 7 when the Astoria Fishermen clash with the La Salle Falcons. On the 14th, I've got three options but have my sights set on another Scappoose game when the Indians host the Marist Spartans.

After that, the schedule is up in the air. All I know is I'll be somewhere, and you -- the fans -- will be there with me.

As often as possible, I'm going to try and provide live blogs from the games I cover, but then again that's all up to the host facilities and their capabilities.

The summer of our discontent

This simply hasn't been a very fun summer to try and get "into" many sports. Yes, there was Oregon State's defense of their College World Series title, and Lake Oswego's surprising run to the Little League World Series.

But in between there was Barry Bonds' chase for the all-time home run record. I've never liked Bonds, even before his head grew to the size of a small nation. But like anyone else, I was intrigued -- perhaps morbid curiousity more than anything else -- to see if/when he would break the record. I think, being a writer and (for a short time) former broadcaster, I was more interested in "the call," the immediate reaction to No. 756*. Well as luck would have it, I happened to tune in just as he was coming to bat and watched the record-breaker sail into the seats, watched the celebration, and went back to something a little more believable: The Colbert Report.

I'm not even going to chime in on the whole Michael Vick travesty (for the dogs, not for him), except to say that maybe, just maybe, this might finally be Joey Harrington's time to show why he was a first-round draft choice. If his performance Monday night against Cincinnati was any indication, Harrington may have finally found his home.

Speaking of Harrington ...

There are now FIVE former Oregon prepsters playing quarterback in the National Football League, and almost all of them look like they'll be cashing a paycheck this season.

While Harrington is starting in Atlanta, it would also appear that Kellen Clemens is making a move to take over the starting job with the New York Jets. He has outperformed incumbent starter Chad Pennington in each of the Jets' three preseason games so far.

In Philadelphia, A.J. Feeley was signed to a contract extension in the offseason to serve as the Eagles' first insurance policy behind oft-injured starter Donovan McNabb. Feeley has been just so-so in the preseason, but then again so has the rest of the team. The one exception was the performance of third-string quarterback Kevin Kolb, who the Eagles drafted as additional insurance. While Feeley took the night off Sunday against the Steelers, Kolb was outstanding in three quarters of play, which means Feeley may have an ongoing competition to keep his back-up job.

Derek Anderson also finds himself in a wide-open competition for the starting job in Cleveland, but his is a three-horse race with Charlie Frye and first-round draft choice Brady Quinn. Quinn may have had a much-publicized contract fight with the Browns, but has looked outstanding -- albeit against third- and fourth-string defenders -- in his two preseason appearances. Frye and Anderson have been the equivalent of a dead heat in their competition, as neither has gotten much help from the Browns' receivers, whose hands are about as reliable as mental health counseling provided by Charlie Manson.

Finally, the newest member of the fraternity is Jared Zabransky, the former Hermiston star who guided Boise State to the most improbable victory in recent college football history in perhaps the most exciting college football game I've ever seen. After leading the Broncos to an undefeated season and a No. 5 ranking in the final polls last season, Zabransky joined the Houston Texans but has had a very quiet preseason thus far. He's appeared in just one of the Texans' three preseason games and completed only one of four pass attempts.

Love, for the record

Finally, last fall I introduced you to "the future ex-Mrs. Sportlight," the lovely Amy of the Philadelphia Eagles. Well, I'm here to tell you that our relationship came to fruition and, although it did not work out as well as I had hoped, it will stay with us for at least the next year.

You see, during my time "off," I had the opportunity to see Amy for about three weeks. Then, to my heartbreak, someone stole the binoculars from my car and, just like that, it was over. Or so I thought ...

Amy knew of me, and as a result there is now a restraining order in place. Among the conditions of the order is the stipulation that -- because I am such a rabid Eagles fan -- I will be allowed to watch the games on television, but must turn away any time the camera pans the cheerleaders.

Yeah, that'll happen. :-)

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Next week: Sporty channels KGW sports reporter Joe Becker to launch the first annual "Concessions Challenge."